Bananas & Oranges

Posted on September 28, 2010 by Michael G

Bananas are an amazing fruit!  They come with their own handle and are naturally appealing Rimshot by JustJoking.com They truly are one of my favorite fruits.  They are tasty when they are bright yellow and make great bread when they are black and disgusting.  But one of their best features is the fact that bananas produce great belches!  (Yes!  I really said ‘Belch’ – No!  My wife didn’t proofread this post…quite possibly a serious strategic error!) Continue reading →

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Tootsie Pop Theology

Posted on September 27, 2010 by Michael G

One of the oldest questions in Christendom is “How can I know God’s Will for my life?“  Another question that is not quite so popular but may be just as important is “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie-Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?“  (Young Reader Alert: If you are less than 30 years old, you may need a little history to follow this one…click and enjoy!)

Old Mr. Owl offers the controversial answer of “theree” and yet every time I try to conduct my own ‘lick test’ and get close to an answer, I cut my tongue Continue reading →

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Duck, Duck, Goose

Posted on September 25, 2010 by Michael G

I always loved this game.  Sitting in a circle waiting to be ‘goosed’; chasing the ‘goose-ee’; picking the next ‘goose’…good times!

As adults, I think we still play this game but with a much different level of anticipation and enjoyment.  We either chase after something we can’t catch or feel we are chased by something that threatens to overwhelm us.  In the end, we are left feeling suffocated, unfulfilled, or in constant turmoil.  Life was supposed to be good, fun and peaceful…Peaceful - what does that mean?  Full of peace?  A life without conflict?  Day after day of calm relaxation?

Proverbs tells us to “go to the ant” (6:6) to learn some lessons.  Well, we are going to the birds! Continue reading →

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Old Shoes, New Souls

Posted on September 22, 2010 by Michael G

There are two kinds of people in the world: Shoed and barefoot!  Everyone in my family loves to go barefoot and they have the callouses to prove it!  I prefer to go “shoed” and I have the ‘smooth feet’ to prove that!  I like the comfort and protection that an old pair of shoes offers to my, otherwise, tender feet.  I once had a pair of loafers that served as my “anywear” shoes…lounging, going to the store, running to the mailbox, strolling through the mall…I could wear them anywhere.  My sister-in-law has asked a number of times if I slept in my shoes…well, what if I do?  So what!

Sadly, Continue reading →

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I Have Bad News…

Posted on September 19, 2010 by Michael G

…and right after this, we hear:

  • There’s been an accident
  • We’re getting a divorce
  • They found a lump
  • The car won’t start
  • We lost the bid
  • I’ve been laid off
  • There’s construction traffic
  • We broke up

It’s not always big things, though – A broken plate, a missed phone call, standing in a long line – it’s still bad news, whether someone says so or not!  Continue reading →

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God, Family, Country

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Michael G

Memorial Day, 4th of July and 9/11

These – along with many other solemn occasions – drive us back to our core, back to our roots, back to the values that define us.  Here is the simple question: What are you doing to pass your core values on to your children, grandchildren or other younger family members?

There is a custom growing Continue reading →

Posted in Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Yo-Yos and Wishing Wells

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Michael G

The Sleeper, Walk the Dog, Around the World, and the Lindy Loop/Double on a Trapeze! It doesn’t matter which yo-yo trick you try, it always ends with the yo-yo coming back to you – even if you have to re-wind it by hand, like I always do!  I had a cheap plastic yo-yo when I was a kid and after several failed attempts to produce a Sleeping Something-or-other, I gave it an extra hard toss.  The string broke and the yo-yo did not come back.  I suppose it was just a yo!

It is unfortunate how many cliches we seem to have in our modern churches.  Have you ever heard these? Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Living | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!

Posted on September 7, 2010 by Michael G

When I was a kid, I was given a book of “Waiter” jokes.

  • Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
    Don’t worry, sir.  He won’t drink much.
  • Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
    Quiet, sir.  Everyone will want one.
  • Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?
    I believe it’s the backstroke, sir.

This and the “Bob Vlasic’s Pickle Joke Book…guaranteed to pickle your funny bone!“, may explain my very warped sense of humor.  Admittedly, waiter jokes are not exactly hilarious…most of them are not even mildly amusing; however,

Continue reading →

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Power Under Control

Posted on September 4, 2010 by Michael G

“Princess Bride” is a family favorite.  Any time I have to tell the kids to “Stop fighting…I mean it!“   You can be sure one of them will say, “Anyone want a peanut?“  (Those of you who have seen this movie are laughing right now.  Those who have not, are lost and wondering what’s wrong with me!  You need to see it.)

It would be too painful to “Princess Bride” aficionados for me to re-cap a scene from this movie, so suffice it to say that Fezzik (Andrea the Giant) is

Continue reading →

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Love For Sale

Posted on September 3, 2010 by Michael G

What comes to your mind?

Images of seedy neighborhoods; sordid dark alleyways; scantily clad women with painted smiles standing on a street corner?  Or maybe it is one of the many songs by the same title.  Whatever the image, I’ll bet it doesn’t include your spouse or children,  your parents or co-workers.  But maybe it should!

Continue reading →

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